(g)routed

Scenes from my recent grouting:

Act one
Scene one: Tuesday night... after stalling for days (well, technically speaking, I was preparing the surface for days) I finally slap on the grout.  I read that I shouldn't buy regular grout; for a few dollars more it behooved me to  get a polymer yadda yadda yadda.  I also knew that I needed sanded grout because the space between the tiles and my tub is too wide.  And, according to the experts at one site, it didn't matter that some of the spaces weren't very wide, I could just use the sanded grout everywhere. 
So, I went out and bought PRE-MIXED sanded grout.  (Forget all the crap about polymer blends - I thought my extra cents should go to avoiding the catastrophe that is moi + mixing precise amounts of ingredients.)
The directions said to use my rubber grout tray to apply the grout at a 45 degree angle, so, naturally, I used my finger tips to shove grout into the space.  Surprisingly difficult to get the grout to cooperate.  That sanded grout was so course that it didn't go into any of the grooves between tiles easily. 
Oh, and I forgot to mention that I started on the wall around the faucet (the most vital area) rather than the back wall...
When I was done, I had a royal mess on my hands.  It just didn't look right at all.  The sanded grout didn't seem to be doing the trick on the narrower spaces - and it just didn't seem like this was going to be water proof ("Don't leave air holes," the instructions say).  Sigh. 
I said out loud to L. who was in the kitchen.  "I want to kill myself."  What a terrible thing to say.  L responded a bit seriously, "No, you don't." (He said it twice because I replied something or other to his first, "No, you don't.")  Just when I was about to feel really really guilty about what I had just said, L - bless his soul - saved the situation.  He called out to me, "Drama queen."  And that was that.  I was being a "drama queen" rather than a puerile simpering baby...  Situation defused.  I went to bed feeling really really bad about the job.
Did I mention that L. had his choir concert and, what with having to wash a shirt for him by hand etc. etc., I didn't start shoving the grout into the spaces until about 9 pm?

So, I tossed and turned and the next morning went to a hardware store determined to buy a non-sanded grout.  Oh, this is scene two...

Scene two:  Wednesday morning at the hardware store.   "Hmmm... this pre-mixed non-sanded grout is the right color.  But what's this?  Here's a pre-mixed non-sanded grout that is also a glue?  That could be useful... not only would I grout the tiles, but I'd make sure they were still really stuck to the wall."  My train of thought is interrupted by one of those rare employees (this was one of the huge hardware store chains).  He's just asking me if an abandoned cart belongs to me.  I say no, and then I ask him about the difference between the regular grout and the grout/adhesive combination.  It appears he is Russian or something, because he doesn't understand my question.  In a nice accent he just says that, of course I can use the grout/adhesive.  With this expert advice, I decide to take the glue-grout.
Back home - I'm frantically cleaning the house, because V has called me to say she's at the airport.  She's going out to eat with a friend (Sh) but she'll be home before too late.
     Finally I'm ready to grout - this time I'll start on the far wall.  My 45 degree technique with the rubber grout spreader is much much better.  Or maybe not.  I'm wondering WHY it didn't occur to me to look at a you tube video on grouting.
This tub of grout is used up long before the job is finished and long before I had actually covered the square feet that the grout should cover.  hmmm...
Gradually - as I'm desperately trying to clean the excess grout off the tiles, it dawns on me that I've elected to spread GLUE all over the place and somehow I'm going to have to ger the glue off the tiles.  The consistency is soon terribly sticky.  I wipe and wipe (damp sponge - circular motion - just like the direction say).  I scrape.  I scratch.  It just can't be cleaned.  I give up.  Tomorrow I'm going to have to figure it all out - and I still have half a wall to cover. 

3) Final step:  let everyone know that we'll all be sharing the other shower for a while... Luckily it's in my bedroom - because I'm really looking forward to having everyone traipse through at all hours.  V doesn't even get home from work most days until 11 pm...  Oh well, this too shall pass.