Did I just pick up the damn thing?
No!
I refused for the very compelling reason that I have just transferred the care and cleaning of that bathroom to my baby (twenty-something) V. This transfer is so earth-shattering, that I am willing to look like an idiot by spending 5 times as much time as it would have taken to pick up the peel to write a note to everyone in the house about it.
Everyone knows it was my hubby who left the peel (fact confirmed by subsequent conversation with others in household). Hubby, however, as first to see the note (only because I showed it to him), passionately denied that he had anything to do with the banana peel. He also got very upset with me for my insinuations or for wasting his time with such triviality. In consequence, my bitchy side came out. First I tormented hubby -- only for 32.2 seconds -- by repeating an innocuous, but annoying, phrase after he had given me his own bitchy signal that he would NOT discuss the banana peel. I kept repeating, "I just wanted you to know..." Each time I said it, H muttered under his breath - getting progressively louder, "Puta."
Blessed be the saint of bananas, we stopped the escalation after the brief 32 seconds, but the bad taste was already there in my mouth.
I prepared his coffee for him, but then ruined the conciliatory gesture by letting go of it (in a sneery kind of way) as soon as his hand touched the cup.
"You practically threw it at me!"
"You would have done worse," i respond brilliantly.
I prepared his coffee for him, but then ruined the conciliatory gesture by letting go of it (in a sneery kind of way) as soon as his hand touched the cup.
"You practically threw it at me!"
"You would have done worse," i respond brilliantly.
Poor L was in for it...
He had a project due, plus he had to get to school early. He needed me to print the work, but hadn't warned me and it was getting late. I say, "Why didn't you tell me earlier?" and he says "Could you just print it and take it to school later?" and I say, "No, I have class today." (a bald-faced lie, but it's the principle of the thing - you know what I mean? What am I, his secretary?) To his credit, after I inform him that there's no guarantee that I'll be home from class on time ("Probably, but..."), L is calm and just asks me to resend the assignment to him, so he can try to print it at school. So, I'm cooling down.
As I prepare his sack lunch, I'm calling out a few more unnecessary, "Hurry up! It's 6:48!" "Brush your teeth!" "Put on your socks!" "Time to go!". Finally, I managed to find time to get upstairs where I see that hubby, the sweetheart, had turned the computer on and connected the internet for me. I opened my e-mail to find L's assignment. The subject line reads, "wuuvvv yoooo." When I see it, I'm not mad at anybody anymore.
I take the homework downstairs and say, "It was only 3 pages. I thought it was going to be a lot longer since you've been working on it so long." He answers that the rest of the assignment was slides which he had e-mailed... More calm conversation ensues; he leaves the house and I tell him I love him as he goes out the door.
