Gotcha

Almost invisible woman admits she has some "control-freak" tendencies but I'm trying to ease up a bit as son gets older  and as he clearly values his independence.   When L. was young, the rule was: 1 hour per day maximum on nintendo or tv (not one hour each) and "no screen time until the chores are done."  This summer, I stuck with the chore rule, and I tried to set a turn-off time (9 pm) but I was much more laid back about time limits.
Still, a few weeks ago I saw evidence that he had played nintendo in secret.  What "evidence"?  The tv volume was off, and it was no longer set to play DVDs.  Today this happened again, and I racked my brain and couldn't think of when he could have played.  Hmmm...  last night after we went to bed??? (Now I remember that we ran out to do a half-hour errand this a.m.)

So, on both these occasions I confronted him in a relaxed way (a little teasing in the tone).
FIRST TIME:
Me: "My sources tell me you played nintendo!"
L:  "Who told you?"
Ha ha - Well, I told him I wasn't going to give him that information, but I assured him that it hadn't been his sister since I didn't want to get her in trouble... I think eventually I told him that it was something to do with evidence, rather than tattling.  Eventually he said, "Oh, I know what it was.  The wii was connected."  Ha ha!  I didn't say anything, but actually I hadn't noticed that part (my son has two gaming systems these days).  L assured me that he had connected it just for a second - and he really didn't even know why he did it.
I told him that I "chose to believe him." 
SECOND TIME:  (today)  I told him what my evidence was and he accepted that he had indeed played.  But he swore that it hadn't been the night before AFTER we went to bed.
Anyway, I didn't want to make this a huge issue -his summer is almost over, and as I've said, I'm trying to be more laid back and L has been pretty responsible over the summer. Also, one of his best friends does this act (sneak gaming time early in the morning) and we've just laughed about it.  His mom is more controlling than I (in my opinion) yet this habit in her son is something she has decided not to fight.  It seemed like a very minor transgression.
After my talk with L tonight, hubby and I watched a movie*; L came out of his room several times during the movie ("how long is this going to last?").  When it was over and I had turned off the lights, I sat in the dark living room for a few minutes pondering... I was thinking that I wished that I had talked to L about this a bit more seriously.  I did want to make it clear that it would NOT be okay once the school year started.  Mainly, it really worries me that he would lose sleep because he was waiting for an opportunity to play. (Aren't we mothers bombarded nowadays with NPR stories on the huge impact that sleep deprivation is having on the typical teenager?)
Me (thinking to myself):  "wouldn't it be an opportune time for him to come out here to the abandoned living room?" I didn't plan on waiting to ambush him, but my son made it too easy for me.  About three minutes after beginning my stake out, he came out of his room.  I heard him turn on the light in the kitchen and I sat still.
Tick tock - thirty seconds pass and I see his head peak into the living room and then POP out of view.
I called him to sit down, and I got it off my chest.  It was great.  No anger - very reasonable actually on both our parts.  We talked about his best friend - we talked about sleep - etc (and, yes, he actually participated - It wasn't just me yadda yadda yaddaing at him.  (Wait, is there a right way to spell "yaddaing"?)
The delicate part is HOW do I respond when he swears that he didn't do X or Y or Z?  I am sooo glad that I didn't angrily say he was lying because, sincerely, it was only when I started writing this that I realized that he probably DID play today (during that errand), rather than last night.  This was a no-no because he was supposed to be working on his summer reading project - but he had already admitted to me that he had played.  He was very likely telling the truth when he swore that he hadn't stayed up to play at night. 
Wow - when you think about these moments of teen-mother interaction, so many things can go wrong.  Entirely different issues than with my older children (everyone is different).  I don't remember the intense feeling of walking on eggshells with the others.... or is that just the effect of time?  But, anyway, I'm so grateful for the relatively good communication we still have (not that he's communicating everything to me).

P.S. Once last year when I got home from work late, I was sure L had been playing video games even though his homework wasn't done, and I tricked him into confessing.
Me: "You really didn't play?"
L: "No, I did not.  Absolutely not."
Me:  "So, if I go check, the hair that I put there will still be in place???"
 Wow - can you believe he fell for that?  But I'm too honest - and after he owned up, I confessed my trickery.  It was really funny.


* What was the name of that movie???